This content first appeared on LinkedIn in June 2022.
As I write this, my husband is in the middle of his fifth of six weeks of chemoradiation following a metastatic recurrence of his rare salivary gland cancer. And while I see and mourn for all the bad that is happening in the world, I can’t help but reflect on the blessings and lessons that have reaffirmed my faith in humanity during a pretty sucky time. A cancer diagnosis can rock you to your core. While I don’t wish this fate or experience on anyone, I am confident that God has used it in my life to make me live and lead as a better reflection of Him – both professionally and personally.
Relative to the workplace, three specific lessons stand out:
1) Vulnerability is ok.
Pre-cancer, I gave into the lie that there’s no place for emotion – or vulnerability – at work. I think many women are subconsciously trained to put on a façade at work, but in doing so, we unintentionally hinder our capacity for emotional intelligence. This not only impacts our own mental health, but also influences how we perceive and interact with colleagues, clients and direct reports as well. My mindset shifted after my husband’s diagnosis in 2019, and I can honestly say I became a more empathetic coworker and client counselor because of it. In hindsight, I kind of cringe at the thought of who I might be as a colleague or leader without this crappy circumstance that positively shifted my perspective.
2) When coworkers = community, you know you’ve got a strong culture.
From the start of this journey, my FHamily at FleishmanHillard has played a big part of the community that, quite frankly, has helped our family survive the trenches of the diagnoses, waiting periods, treatments and routine scans (AKA scanxiety!). My colleagues have graciously carried the workload on appointment/surgery days; provided gas money, gift baskets, and meals; offered much-appreciated prayers and good vibes; given me grace and encouragement when I need it the most; and simply checked in on me during an isolating time. We spend so much time at work and I am eternally grateful for the colleagues from both FH and Cargill who have become such close and important members of our community.
3) Remote work is a blessing.
I have been working remotely for almost seven years and I will be the first to admit that it’s not for everyone or every job. But, I am so grateful to have been working remotely for both of his treatment periods. It has made our decision and ability to seek care at MD Anderson Cancer Center much easier since I can work from waiting rooms, cafeterias and treatment rooms as needed (also, shout out to MDA for the free Wifi!). Even if permanent remote work isn’t part of an organization's return to work plan, I’d challenge every employer to strongly consider the option of flexible work for jobs where it's feasible, especially when navigating the situation of an employee becoming a loved one's caregiver.
As we hit the midpoint in Cancer Survivors Month, I encourage you to check in on the friends, family and coworkers who have survived or been affected by cancer. And if that is you, I see you; I grieve with you; and I am here for you.